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Forum » Off Topic » Writings » I haven't had a title for this one...
I haven't had a title for this one...
AyatDate: Sunday, 2011-04-03, 6:20:54 AM | Message # 1
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I wrote this earlier..Its my first poem since I quit writing them a year ago.
I wrote this when I was thinking about my lost love that I couldn't forget after all this while.

I'll remember who you are,
Once,you made me rhyme,
But now,you are far,
And here I am,a silent chime.

Once,you were my angel,
But now,you bring me hell,
A judgement from the archangel,
Yet,I wish for you to be well.

Charmayne,still,I'll remember,
The good more than the bad,
Although I have surrendered,
I'd rather feel the pain,then to see you being sad.

Alas,its now or never,
I must erase you from my mind,
Mayhap forever,
But deep in my heart,you may still find,
An ounce of my love for you,
An incarnate for what is true.

 
God_Of_DeathDate: Wednesday, 2011-04-06, 6:38:19 PM | Message # 2
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I like the poem but why did the scheme change at the end? Keep in mind I'm not knowledgeable with poetry. Also will you have more poetry to add?
 
Sandman366Date: Wednesday, 2011-04-06, 7:48:48 PM | Message # 3
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Scheme changing near the end was odd to me too.

If you're looking for a title and don't mind suggestions, "Farewell to a Love" didn't sound too bad to me. Although it's a bit past goodbye from the sound of things, it still kinda fits....


Malevolent criminal I,
when the vision paints my mind.
Cross the invisible line...
...and you'll be paid in kind.
 
Forum » Off Topic » Writings » I haven't had a title for this one...
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